Words Matter... Sort of... Sometimes

Most of us would agree that words do matter.

But in most human languages, and certainly in the English language, the same word or phrase can have different meanings. Even dictionary definitions are not able to capture the subtle differences that each individual thinks of as the definition, much less the context. For example, the phrase "I'll kill you" have very different meaning when uttered by good friends, vs. a stranger in a dark alley. And words like "capitalism" and "socialism" can be perceived very differently based on a person's political point of view and context. This is exacerbated by our human tendency to simplify complex problems/concepts into much simpler binary choices. For example, many would see capitalism and socialism as opposites, but in reality, most Western social and economic systems have some components of each. Yet the words tend to trigger strong emotional responses and context tends to get ignored.

In many cases, treating these concepts as opposites works well for the point at hand. We'd go crazy if we had to precisely define each word and meaning in every context. But forgetting that it isn't always black and white, that there is almost always a circumstance where there is exception to any rule, can cause misunderstandings.

Complexity is often introduced when two people use different definitions of words and phrases. One can utter a phrase with a specific intent, but the listener may perceive a different meaning and intent. I find that often if you step back and listen carefully, you'll find that many arguments are because the two sides are using different definitions of the same words and phrases. The argument is essentially about the definition, yet neither side typically clearly lays out the definition they are using.

One of the phrases we learn early is "Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me." This helps us cope with differing definitions, with emotions, and helps us develop a thick skin and not be overly sensitive. On the other hand, it totally ignores the reality that in many circumstances, words can do great damage, much greater than sticks or stones. Wounds heal and can be forgotten, but words can hurt forever. The sayer may not mean to hurt, they may have uttered it in the heat of emotion, but to the listener, a slight may wound deeply. As children, playing with our friends, few of us would ever forget being singled out with a racial/ethnic slur aimed at us. It hurts and even if healed, leaves a scar.

What follows is a list of words and phrases discussed in more detail on this site (autogenerated):